Bone Wiki

This article is about the event. For the book, see The Great Cow Race.

The Great Cow Race was a Cow Race held every spring in the Northern Valley and was the main attraction of The Spring Fair. Each year people bring cows to the fair and race them across the woods. Most people like to gamble their life savings on the race, and they usually vote for Gran'ma Ben, who wins every time.

Phoney Bone's Scam[]

When the Bone's came to the Spring Fair, Phoney learned that many people gamble over the race. He decides to make a giant scam to win lots of goods and valuables, so he creates a master plan. First, he makes up fake odds saying that Gran'ma Ben is too old to win the race. Second, he makes up a cow that doesn't exist called The Mystery Cow and spreads rumors about how fast and ferocious it is. When gamblers later want to see the Mystery Cow, Phoney tricks them by making them think that the Mystery Cow is trying to break down a barn, while inside the barn, it's only Smiley  banging on pots and wood and other stuff. Finally, he makes Smiley don a cow suit, and then tells him his plan: Smiley has to look like he can outrun Gran'ma Ben, but when they're in the woods, he lets her pass him, so all of the bets on the Mystery Cow go directly to Phoney.

The Scam Gets Botched[]

Phoney Bone thought he had planned out everything, but despite all of the rumors going around about Gran'ma Ben, Lucius bets the Barrelhaven Tavern on Gran'ma Ben to win. So if Smiley loses, he has to pay a whole lot of money to Lucius.

Phoney isn't too sure that he can count on Smiley to win, so he sneaks into Smiley's cow suit with him. During the race, Gran'ma Ben tries to take a good look at them, but Phoney tries to pull Smiley away from her, only blocking their view and falling off of the path, ironically where a rat creature troop was resting. This causes a huge disturbance, and when the rat creatures try to chase Phoney and Smiley, they interfere with the whole race, and out of the ruckus, Gran'ma Ben wins.


Before the villagers' riot mob on Phoney can get horrifying, Lucius and Gran'ma Ben feel sorry for them, and all bets were off. Except for Phoney's. He ends up washing the dishes for the end of the summer.